Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
