She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
