I wanna passion pit in your ass
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
