She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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