Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
