went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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