JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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