After last night, I could never be a politician.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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