Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
3pm strippers are depressing
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
