this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My feet surprised me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
