Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We left an ass print on the piano.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
