Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
