NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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