I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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