Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
