Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
