I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
