so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
