Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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