At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
