We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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