I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
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