Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
