But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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