Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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