I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
