No stitches, just platelets and will power
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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