I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
