i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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