I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The feeling are messing with the penis
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
