Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
