That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
