i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
