We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
