oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
