How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
