Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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