"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
