Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You know, be my cock's hype man.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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