Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's blow job season.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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