I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
