ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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