M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
