Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
