i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
