yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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