what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
