I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
