what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
