At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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