I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
