I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
