Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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